A three-year-old boy throws tantrums and begs his mother not to go to daycare. Worried, she goes there unannounced and is shocked by what she sees.
“No, Mom, no!” Johnny threw himself on the ground and started screaming.
Marla Evans sighed. “Not again!” She looked at her watch. If he got angry, she would be late again.
She looked at her three-year-old in exasperation. Johnny had been going to daycare for two years and had always loved it. For the past week, without warning, he had been making a scene, begging Marla not to take him.
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She had spoken to her pediatrician, who had told her that young children often went through the “terrible threes.” “Stop!” Marla heard herself yell, and then she saw the fear in her son’s eyes. Something was wrong.
Marla sat down on the floor next to Johnny and pulled him onto her lap. He was sobbing, pressing his little face against hers. Marla figured it wasn’t a tantrum, but what could possibly be going on?
“Honey,” Marla said softly. “I’m sorry. Mommy didn’t mean to get upset.” She rocked him until he stopped crying and asked gently, “Why don’t you like daycare anymore?”
Raising a child is about setting boundaries and respecting them.
Johnny shivered in his arms and whispered, “I don’t like it!”
“But why, honey?” Marla asked. “Are the other kids mean?” But Johnny didn’t answer. Marla sighed. “Baby, mommy has to go to work, but you know what… I’ll pick you up from daycare early today, okay?”
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Johnny sat up on his knees. “No lunch?” He looked up at her anxiously. “No lunch, Mom?”
Lunch? The worried mother frowned. What’s going on with her son?
Marla dropped Johnny off, promising that she would pick him up before lunch. He walked quietly into the daycare but gave a pleading look to a heartbroken Marla.
She went to work and asked her boss to give her the afternoon off to deal with a personal issue. Luckily, her boss is also a mom and she understood!
Marla was determined to figure out why Johnny didn’t want to go to daycare. She decided to go see him, not before lunchtime like she had promised Johnny, but during lunch.
Johnny’s daycare didn’t allow parents into the children’s playrooms or the dining room, but every door in the facility had a large, clear glass window. With any luck, Marla could see what was going on inside.
When she arrived, the receptionist told her that the children were having lunch. Marla then walked over to the dining room and took a look inside. The children were all sitting at their tables, eating.
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Each table was supervised by a teacher or assistant. Marla quickly spotted Johnny. A woman Marla didn’t recognize was sitting next to him.
As Marla watched, the woman took Johnny’s spoon, scooped up a portion of mashed potatoes, and pressed it to her lips. “Eat!” she cried. Johnny shook his head violently, his mouth tightly shut, tears streaming down his cheeks.
“Open your mouth and eat!” the woman said angrily. Johnny looked deeply distressed. The woman cried out, “You’re going to sit here until you’ve finished your plate!
Marla saw that there was a small portion of ground meat, mashed potatoes, and vegetables left on Johnny’s plate, and she knew her son. Johnny wasn’t much of a eater; she never insisted when he told her he’d had enough.
Johnny opened his mouth to protest, and the teacher quickly shoved the spoon in. Marla watched as her son choked and spluttered. She had had enough! She opened the door and stormed in.
“Get away from my son,” she shouted.
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The woman looked up and her mouth hung open. “Parents are not allowed in the dining room,” she shouted back.
“Then they should,” Marla said, controlling her anger. “Can’t you see that Johnny has had enough? He’s a healthy boy, but he’s not a big eater. As an educator, you should know how traumatic force-feeding a child can be.”
“The fact that you have to clean your plate is no longer relevant. You should know the statistics and causes of childhood obesity and eating disorders.”
“And one of them is to make food an issue! My little boy is an active child, and if he feels he has had enough to eat, you have to respect that and not force him to eat.”
“As for putting food into a child’s mouth like that, that’s reprehensible! You should definitely know better. These children are not puppets that you can manipulate as you please!”
“They are little people with needs and wills of their own. If you don’t respect their boundaries, you’re teaching them that they don’t deserve to be respected. I don’t think that’s the message you wanted to convey!”
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The teacher blushed and stood up. “I never…” she shouted.
“That’s too bad,” Marla snapped. “Because if this happens again, I’ll make sure you don’t have a job! I’m not sending my son to daycare to be bullied!”
Marla walked over to Johnny and tenderly wiped his mouth. “Come on, honey,” she said sweetly. “Mommy promised to treat you this afternoon!”
Marla had a long talk with Johnny, and there was no tantrum the next morning. Over the next few weeks, she stopped by the daycare at lunchtime to monitor the situation.
The teacher never forced Johnny to eat again, and the boy regained his good humor and enthusiasm.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
What can we learn from this story?
- Children and their boundaries must be respected. Johnny’s teacher taught him that adults have the right to impose their will on children, to the detriment of their well-being.
- Raising a child is about setting and respecting boundaries – your own and yours. A child whose boundaries are not respected is insecure and lacks self-esteem.
Share this story with your friends. It might brighten their day and inspire them.
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